After Devin parted ways with his high school sweethearts, he never could have expected that their romance would eventually reignite. Especially not at the same time. Here’s how the trio became a polyamorous family.
In a lot of ways, Devin was living an average life in his hometown of Cincinnati. He worked, played video games, and enjoyed an active social life. But when it came to his romantic life, things were a little more complicated.
The 25-year-old lived with the two "loves of his life," Hayley and Ciara. But this throuple's journey went way back to a time when the three of them had never even considered living a Polyamorous life. It all started back in high school with Devin and Hayley.
High School Sweethearts
Devin and Hayley's connection dated back to their teenage days. "Me and Devin were together back in high school," Hayley explained. Even at such a young age, the two lovebirds felt drawn to each other and had loads in common. However, like many teen romances, it wasn't always smooth sailing.
One thing led to another, and Devin and Hayley ended up parting ways. But when one door closed, another opened, and Devin soon found himself drawn to someone new: another Cincinnati teenaged girl named Ciara. Would he have better luck in his next relationship?
Devin followed his heart and found himself another high school sweetheart: the quiet but confident Ciara. The pair hit it off and fell into their own little world of teenage bliss. But just like with Hayley, it wasn't long before Devin and Ciara's flame had fizzled.
The pair called it quits with no bad blood between them. It was nothing more than classic "high school drama [and] high school shenanigans," Ciara recalled of her short fling with Devin. What would Devin do next? It didn't take long for him to return to something familiar.
Back to Hayley
Despite their first failed attempt, Devin and Hayley decided to give it another shot. "We got together so young," Hayley remembered of their puppy love. "[There was a] lot of breaking up here," Devin joked in agreement. But the reason why they were so open to round two was that there was no resentment from the past.
"It was never anything bad like it was just because we were all so young, you know," Hayley said, looking back at her and Devin's past. For the time being, the pair were enjoying their rekindled love, but it wouldn't take long for things to be switched up again.
The Three Reconnected
Time passed, and Devin and Hayley were continuing to develop their relationship as they went from high school graduates to young adults. Then, out of the blue, Hayley ended up getting in touch with Devin's ex-girlfriend. "Me and Ciara kind of connected through a mutual friend," Hayley said.
"And we ended up being friends," she continued. With this new friendship blossoming, Ciara soon found herself hanging out with her pal and ex-boyfriend. But there was no awkwardness - the opposite, in fact. And as time went on, the trio was spending nearly all their free time together.
The Sparks Were Already There
While Ciara and Hayley's friendship was fresh, the opposite could be said about Ciara and Devin. From their high school days, these exes knew that there was already a connection there. But would the love rekindle? Or would they be better of as friends?
Whether they wanted to admit it or not, the spark was there between Ciara and Devin in addition to being there between Devin and Hayley. So while the hangouts started as platonic, it didn't take long for the mood to shift and for things to take a romantic turn. But how would they take it forward?
A Surprising Turn of Events
When Hayley and Ciara struck up their friendship, a throuple was the last thing on their minds. "We didn't really expect it at all," Hayley explained. But the three of them found themselves in a three-way relationship. They began to explore this undeniable attraction.
But behind all the butterflies, there was a lot of inexperience. Neither Devin, Hayley, nor Ciara had experience incorporating a third person into a relationship. And it would be a lot harder than they thought. It would take much more than just admitting that the feelings were there...
Entering Uncharted Territory
One thing was certain: polyamory was uncharted territory for the three of them. And they didn't have the faintest clue in how to handle the new dynamic of their relationship of three. Something as simple as a date night or taking a picture had a new twist, and they struggled to adjust.
The feelings were there, but there were a lot of struggles involved. And on top of it all, Devin, Hayley, and Ciara were all fairly young when they got together. At times, they felt as though their age was working against them because they lacked the tools to handle problems when they arose.
Issues Started Coming Up
"One of our main issues was jealousy," Ciara confessed of the early days with her partners. While she and Hayley were familiar with what it was like to date Devin on their own, dealing with sharing him between themselves was a whole different ball game.
Who sat next to who? Who kissed who more? Who got more quality time? It was challenging not to compare and get jealous. And the dynamic became an elephant in the room and impossible to ignore. As the relationship continued it started to cause friction for the two women sharing Devin.
Tensions Between Hayley and Ciara
So with so much newness involved in their polyamorous relationship, Ciara and Hayley started to have problems with each other. "[The jealousy] kind of played a part with me and Hayley," Ciara recalled. But did their shared boyfriend feel the same way?
It turned out that envy was felt across all three of the young adults in their relationship. Even a "little bit" by Devin, but overall he wasn't experiencing as many struggles as his girlfriends. However, that had to do with the added layer of unfamiliar territory that Hayley and Ciara were experiencing by being together.
"We [had] never been like with a girl," Hayley explained of her and Ciara's unique situation at the start of the relationship. "It was just like a little bit different trying to like figure things out." They also had the added pressure of needed to tell their families that they were dating a woman.
"It was an emotional and difficult process just because everyone's family is gonna take it differently," Ciara explained. Coming out to each of their families was no joke, and it weighed on Ciara and Hayley in the lead-up to the conversations. But that wasn't the only thing working against them...
A Bumpy Road Ahead
Overall, Hayley, Devin, and Ciara felt that, at times, their immaturity got the best of them. So many fights were started over irrelevant topics and boiled into something bigger than it needed to be. "I think the [issues] also had a big part of us all being together starting out kid of younger," Hayley said.
And from their high school past, Devin, Ciara, and Hayley knew that cracks could easily form between them and tear them apart. It was clear that there was a deep emotional connection, but that couldn't solve everything. How would they overcome their young age and impulsiveness?
All or Nothing
Experiencing their first polyamorous relationship involved a lot of trial and error. At first, they tried to go with what they knew and break their throuple down into two-person relationships. But that just made things worse. Instead, they opted to go in a totally different direction.
In a total 180, Devin, Ciara, and Hayley decided to throw out everything that they knew about relationships and give their trio 110%. It was a bold move, to say the least. But they figured it was the only way to move their budding relationship forward.
Moving in Together
In their all-or-nothing spirit, Devin, Hayley, and Ciara decided to move in almost immediately after getting together as a trio. No matter the ups and downs, they figured it was better to work through it together rather than apart. That also meant sharing finances as well.
"The last thing you want to do is, you know, [count] dollars while you're trying to focus on building a relationship… and trying to create this awesome relationship out of love," Devin explained. "You don't want to worry about who spent what or who did this for who."
A Good Foundation
With their living situation sorted out, Hayley, Devin, and Ciara were able to put all their energy into each other. And luckily, they had something going in their favor. "I think that it was a lot easier for us to jump into it because, like I said, we were together, and then we were together," Hayley said of her trio's past.
While some may have seen their tangled history as a downside, the lovebirds couldn't have disagreed more. Their past reassured them that the spark was real and provided some great comfort that made the spikes of jealousy a little bit easier to manage.
The Trust Was There
"I did know them already, and I already had trust with them, so I guess that definitely made like jumping into like moving in and finances and things like a lot easier," Devin reflected of his unique circumstances. And his partners definitely agreed with him.
"He had like a trust that he already knew her," Hayley agreed in reference to Devin and Ciara. "Then [Ciara and I] became friends first, and that's how that like, kind of started. I had that trust there as well," Hayley continued. But how would it play out in their day-to-day lives?
They're Together All the Time
With trust came smooth communication, and the fights spurred by jealousy died down. Soon, Ciara, Devin, and Hayley were living a life of throuple bliss. In fact, because they all worked the same remote job, they spent nearly every day together working from home!
"Personally, I love being at home because it just opens up so much more time to spend together, so that's just an added benefit," Ciara explained of her situation. And overall, the two girlfriends and boyfriend were happy to have work at all, considering the uncertainty that came with the pandemic.
Their Lives Were Turned Upside Down
Prior to all getting a job at a call center and working from home, Hayley, Ciara, and Devin all worked outside of the house. Devin worked at a finance company in Cincinnati, and Hayley and Ciara were servers at local restaurants. But all that came to a halt with COVID.
They were all laid off and had to hustle to find new jobs to pay the bills. But luckily, working remotely ended up being a blessing and opened up the trio to an ideal lifestyle as they entered a new and exciting chapter in their lives. Their family was about to grow by one.
Becoming Moms and Dad
Hayley was pregnant! She, Ciara, and Devin were well on their way to becoming parents. The trio announced the pregnancy on their shared Instagram account in the autumn of 2020, sharing that there was a "new addition coming December 2020." But what did others think?
Hayley, Devin, and Ciara were blessed with an incredibly supportive online following. People rushed to the comments to send well-wishes and congratulations in anticipation of the baby's arrival. And before they knew it, little Xylaya arrived on December 29th, 2020. She was a 7 lbs. bundle of love.
"24/7 Attention to Xylaya"
Sure, losing their jobs was a tough blow, but all their problems melted away the second that little Xylaya joined the picture. Plus, their new work arrangement was perfect for parenting a newborn. "We've been able to give, you know, undivided 24/7 attention to Xylaya," Devin gushed.
"That has been just like, wonderful," he continued. It was a total zen zone at the trio's house. "Xylaya's not added any extra stress to our lives even though, you know, she's a baby," the new dad explained. It was clear to many that Devin, Ciara, and Hayley were filled with gratitude.
While others felt that the pandemic brought nothing but hardships, this loving trio saw the positives in the situation. "Through this whole Covid situation and being at home, I think it definitely, like, strengthened our relationship and our bonds," Devin explained. "Not only within ourselves but then also all together."
"I think it really allowed us to all reflect on, like, what we really need out of life and what we like, want out of life. Just because, you know, we've had so much to like, sit at home and think," the new dad continued. And it brought about some revelations about their unique family situation.
What Is a Poly Family?
With two years of polyamorous experience under their belts, Devin, Ciara, and Hayley knew how to define their relationship. "[A polyamorous family is] going to look different for everybody," Hayley reflected. "But the main definition there would be 'poly' could be more than your regular two people in a monogamous relationship."
And while their love may have looked a little different to some, there were some aspects of monogamy that they kept: they decided that didn't need to look for a fourth or a fifth - rather they were a closed trio. "We share everything together, so there is no like, outside anything with the relationship," Ciara said.
Picking Their Labels
Devin, Hayley, and Ciara were confident in what they wanted and weren't afraid to share it with the world. And when asked about their sexual orientation, they all spoke their honest truths. Devin answered first, explaining that he identified as straight and always had. But what about Ciara and Hayley? Did their love come with any labels?
"I would identify as straight as well," Ciara confessed. "[If] I were to be in another relationship, I would more than likely go for a man. But obviously, we've fallen in love with each other." And Hayley agreed. "I don't know that if we weren't together that I would ever be with another woman… But never say never," she said.
Choosing Love Over Hate
And Hayley, Ciara, and Devin's confidence in their special lifestyle came with a lot of acceptance towards others. "You definitely need to find what makes you happy as an individual and really do everything that you can in your power to live a life like that," Devin explained.
Monogamy, polyamory, or anything in between, Devin knew that the most important thing was being honest with himself. "Don't try to fit inside of someone else's opinion or someone else's ideas," he explained. "It is a way to live, but it's not necessarily the best way to live." But what about others' opinions?
While a loving three-person relationship felt natural for Devin, Hayley, and Ciara, others weren't as willing to accept it. And as Devin explained, he lost some friends along the way because of the life he was living. However, the new dad didn't feel a type of way about it, he described the whole thing as natural.
The three parents were confident in their choices, and no negativity could really get them down. Besides, they had much bigger things to focus on, like their precious baby girl Xylaya. And before long, there was another bun in the oven - but this time it was Ciara's turn to experience the joys of pregnancy.
At the time of this article's publication, Devin, Hayley, and Ciara were well on their way to growing their family by one more. Ciara was expecting their second child, a boy, that she planned to name Xen. "We're overjoyed to welcome our baby boy Xen Joseph Hale," they shared on Instagram.
"We love you so much already and cannot wait for your arrival," the post continued. Xen was due later in the year on September 27th, 2021. And the three parents were thrilled to be giving Xylaya a baby brother at such a young age. The two siblings would be less than a year apart! But how would Ciara handle the pregnancy?
How Did Ciara Feel?
Despite the expected ups and downs of pregnancy, like swollen ankles and exhaustion, Ciara was cherishing every moment of the journey, even at her relatively young age. "I never expected to be bringing in 21 pregnant, but I'm more than happy and ready to be your mommy," she captioned her maternity shoot pictures.
"I will teach you to be the man the world needs, not what it is represented by. Your sister will always have a protector in you, and you'll always have a friend in her... Until we meet my love." With Xen on the way, the three parents were experiencing the ride of a lifetime - and it wouldn't always be easy...
Choosing to See the Positive
While parenting wasn't always a walk in the park, Devin, Hayley, and Ciara chose to focus on the positives and tackle all of life's challenges with a good mindset. Their growing family brought tons of adventure with each and every day, and their romantic relationship was going from strength to strength.
And though the pandemic put a wrench in some plans, the three young parents made sure to dedicate time not only to create memories with their daughter but also quality 1-on-1-on-1 time. Date nights, cute outings, you name it. Plus, they were celebrating milestones along the way.
With a busy work schedule, a young baby, and a polyamorous relationship on her plate, Hayley wowed her loved ones with a huge step in her professional life. She graduated from the University of Cincinnati with a Bachelor's Degree! Safe to say that Ciara and Devin were in awe of their accomplished partner.
"Our baby did it!" they wrote on Instagram. "We are more than proud of her. You're looking at a STRONG woman… finished out with the arrival of our bundle of joy Xylaya. It's only up from here." From academics to careers and parenthood, life was looking good for the three lovebirds. But what about the future?
What's In Store?
With a whole lot of love and a positive mindset between them, Devin, Ciara, and Hayley are seriously looking forward to their future - especially with Xen's arrival in the coming months. And the hardworking parents are doing everything in their power to give their kids the best life possible.
Hayley's made plans to move on to a Master's degree and CPA certification, Ciara is wrapping up a Psych degree, and Devin has hopes of "building his photography business." Want to keep up with this loving family of four? You can find them on Instagram at @thepolypov and on YouTube at The Poly Pov.