Kevin and Jamie were happily married with three kids until things took a turn and the pair went their separate ways. That is until Kevin met Lacee: was she the missing piece to the former couple's union?
Meet Kevin & Jamie
Meet Kevin Wesley, a "world-renowned motivational speaker," as he put it. But long before finding this passion, Kevin worked as a pastor at a church. And that's where this unique love story began nearly two decades ago.
Wesley grew up in a religious household and attended church quite regularly throughout his life. As a teenager, he met another fellow devotee during a Sunday service. Her name was Jamie, and the pair became friends. But by eighteen years old, their relationship turned romantic.
They Married Young
The couple quickly fell head-over-heels in love with one another. And with a shared passion for the church, there seemed to be nothing stopping them from making things official. So Kevin and Jamie tied the knot about two years after the pair started dating.
It was young love: the newlyweds were twenty years old when they said their I do's. And not long after that, the couple started a family. "Jamie and I got married super duper young," Kevin reflected. "We had children early." As their family grew, so did the duo's dedication to the church.
Leaving the Church
Kevin ultimately became a pastor and a local religious leader. So when the Wesley family announced they were leaving the church - and Christianity in general - in 2017, their former community was shocked. "I don't believe in the Bible or any character in the Bible," Kevin said at the time.
Their decision meant some loved ones suddenly rejected them. "They were disappointed because they were all really like strong church-goers, ministers, everybody had a position in the church," Jamie explained of their family's reactions. "They took it very, very hard."
He Was Unhappy
Their decision to leave Christianity signified a shift in Jamie and Kevin's values. And their relationship soon faced some changes and tensions, too. The couple deeply respected each other and had three children together, but Kevin was unhappy with their marriage.
"Me and Jamie met through our church aged 15 and started dating at about 18," he said. "We were married by the time we were twenty and were then married for thirteen years. But I was always telling her how unhappy I was, and I think we had very different ideas of what an ideal marriage looked like."
While the lovebirds once felt they were meant to be and would spend forever together, things changed. Kevin and Jamie grew as individuals and had different ideas of what a healthy and happy relationship looked like. Ultimately, their differences were too many to overcome.
"I told Jamie that I wanted to bring an end to our relationship, and she gave me her permission, so we parted ways," Kevin explained. After fourteen years together, they called it quits - or so it seemed. Jamie and Kevin separated in 2016. Little did they know what the future had in store.
The Dating Scene
Jamie was heartbroken, and while Kevin was, too, he was also ready to dip his toes in dating. The dad-of-three was single for the first time since the age of eighteen and took advantage. But there was one twist: he was still interested in getting back with Jamie but in a polyamorous relationship.
"I had dated women after me and Jamie separated that were happy with the idea of being poly but refused to do it with Jamie because, in their mind, Jamie has history with me," Kevin explained. The possibility of a poly relationship with his ex-wife didn't seem plausible. And then he met someone different...
He Met Lacee
For five years, Kevin tried to find the missing piece to his and Jamie's relationship. But none of the women wanted to get into a relationship with his ex. "They thought that they would be coming in lacking power or feeling like they don't have something Jamie does," Kevin explained.
In 2020, he finally met someone who was open to it. "Lacee and I met online," Kevin detailed. But the young woman already knew who Kevin - now a motivational speaker - was. "I knew exactly who he was and was actually a fan of his work," Lacee admitted.
She Was Never in a Poly Romance
While Lacee was open to joining a throuple with Jamie, she and Kevin were initially a twosome. "I have not previously had a poly relationship," Lacee shared. "I wasn't sure if I could come in behind another woman. But Kevin was separated, so I got to meet him as an individual, not as a pair.
Lacee added, "I got to fall in love with him on my own." And fall in love she did; the couple became inseparable. But Kevin was clear about his end goal, and his new girlfriend was open to it. "It was amazing to have someone who was completely on the same page as me and wanted the same thing," he gushed.
Jamie Was Open to It
So Lacee certainly didn't rule out the possibility of a poly relationship; in fact, she preferred to be in a throuple with Kevin's ex-wife than with anyone else. "Lacee told me that if she was going to be in a triad relationship, she would only really want to do this with Jamie," Kevin shared. But how did Jamie feel?
"When Lacee and I met, I was already talking to Jamie about a poly lifestyle because even back then, I wanted to pursue this lifestyle, and Jamie had been thinking the same for a while before," Kevin clarified. "It felt like it was meant to be." But the two women still had to meet each other.
They Met Alone
With both Lacee and Jamie on the same page, it was time for them to meet. And they chose to do so without Kevin there. "They arranged to meet together without me because I didn't want me being there to shape how they saw each other," Kevin explained.
"They are both heterosexual, so their relationship is purely platonic," he added. Jamie and Lacee were not interested in dating each other. Instead, if things worked out, they would each have an individual relationship with Kevin. The man of the hour anxiously waited to hear how the first meet went.
Becoming a Fam
Lacee and Jamie planned to eat brunch together and ended up spending hours chatting. "They hit it off right away, and it was magical," Kevin recalled. "We all immediately knew that we wanted to work to make this thing happen." So Kevin and Jamie romantically reconnected, with Lacee became a new family member.
"So we started this poly union as three individuals," Lacee explained. Of course, there were others involved, as Jamie and Kevin already had three kids together. "Me not having biological children, I was just like, 'Yes, those are the types of children I wanted,'" Lacee said.
Jamie on Mondays & Tuesdays
But since Lacee and Jamie did not date each other, they required individual alone time with their shared beau. That aspect of the poly romance might've been challenging at first, but the trio ultimately figured out a schedule that they all approved of.
"We have found a system that works for us in which myself and Jamie spend Monday and Tuesday together alone while Lacee works on manifesting her career as a motivational speaker," Kevin said. "Of course, [Jamie and I] obviously sleep together on those days."
So Mondays and Tuesdays were set aside for Jamie and Kevin. "Those two days is your world," he told Jamie as the couple planned some "fun day" activities for their designated days. To avoid jealousy or inequality in their love triangle, Lacee got the same amount of time.
"On Wednesday and Thursday, me and Lacee are together while Jamie focuses on her business," Kevin shared. "In this way, we are constantly providing for one another and building the lives we want to live, without having to rely on working for anybody else."
On the weekends, the throuple alternated their quality time. But most of the time, they just spent the weekends together as a throuple. "We all then spend the rest of the week together, but I have to work and travel at the weekend as a motivational speaker," Kevin said.
The trio became more comfortable spending their weekend quality time as a throuple as they got to know each other better. But Kevin was mindful of all his actions, as he made sure not to hurt anyone's feelings. To keep things easy, he mostly refrained from showing either woman too much affection.
They Became New People
It was a new experience for all of them. Jamie and Kevin had long considered a poly relationship, but Lacee was the first person they did it with. On top of that, the couple spent the previous five years separated. The throuple had quite the learning curve for their romance.
"Each of us had different reasons why we wanted to pursue [polyamory]," Kevin shared. "We had reasons for why we wanted to live this type of dynamic, and for those reasons, we pursued this dynamic. But we had to grow, we had to - what we call 'melt;' become someone new and dissolve our egos."
Making Things Official
So there were definitely some growing pains as Kevin, Jamie, and Lacee worked things out as a polyamorous throuple. And not long after the trio began their relationship, Kevin proposed to Lacee. "I adore you Queen," he passionately shared on Instagram.
Kevin continued, "Let the world criticize, I'm convinced that no one in the entire cosmos could fathom the love that I have for you. It is that love that I possess for you that made me get on my knee to ask you to be my Queen even though you already were." But not everything was picture-perfect.
Dealing With Jealousy
The throuple felt sure in their decisions and new relationship. But at the end of the day, the fact that Lacee and Jamie were not in a relationship with one another brought up specific issues. "People ask, 'Do you deal with jealousy?' Absolutely," Kevin confessed.
"Kev gives Jamie flowers. I might look and go, 'Where are my flowers?'" Lacee admitted. But when that happened, she checked her ego. "Then I have to check myself and go, 'Lacee, you don't even like flowers.' She gets flowers; I get chocolate. And we're both happy."
"We Have So Much in Common"
With time, the jealousy between the women decreased, and their connection got stronger. Jamie and Lacee had a foundation of respect for each other that began when they met alone for brunch. And as they got more comfortable being sister wives, the pair realized how much they had in common.
"We love doing pretty much the same thing. We have the same thoughts and everything," Jamie shared. "We finishing each other's sentences and all," Lacee enthusiastically added. She continued, "All we have to do is look at each other, and we'd be like, 'Yep.'"
They Supported Each Other
And their sister wives relationship ultimately went beyond common hobbies or thought processes. As the two women fell deeper in love with Kevin, they also fell deeper in love with their sisterly bond and became one another's number one supporters in every way.
"My queens support each other," Kevin said. "They work together; they depend on each other; they bring out the best in each other by encouraging each other. Honestly, I never imagined it being so beautiful." But as the three of them rose to cloud 9, those around them disapproved.
Their Family Disapproved
The throuple's loved ones had trouble accepting the new dynamic. "We're still working on that one with the family," Jamie shared. "It was so much push back for them. It's like because they have been conditioned so much, that what I'm doing is like out of this world, taboo, is wrong or whatnot."
"So I think they feel as if they're associated with me in any kind of way, they're condoning it. So there's like this big gap in between myself and most of my family members," she continued. "I still have a few that still will have a conversation with me, but it's still a little off." What about Jamie and Kevin's children?
How Did Their Children Feel?
But more important than how parents and cousins reacted was how the Wesley children felt about the whole situation. The three kids went from living with two parents, to having separated parents under different roofs, to suddenly having three adult figures in one house.
"I was nervous. I didn't really - social interaction, you know," said one of Kevin and Jamie's sons, Israel. "I had this friend come over, and he didn't really, like, understand. So I was trying to tell him that there's my mom and then my dad and there's Lacee. I don't know if he got it."
Their New Normal
Fortunately for the throuple, the kids mostly felt okay with their poly romance. "When I found out about Lacee, I was fine with it," said Wesley's daughter, Janae. Their son Justice added, "Having someone new around the house was a little uncomfortable, but nothing stood out."
With time, even Israel felt more comfortable living with Lacee. "I've gotten used to her over the months," he said. Justice added, "There are a lot of positives and negatives about having a third parental figure, but it wasn't really an issue for us. We were all very independent before, and we're very independent now."
Do the Kids Want to Be Poly?
Thanks to their kids' open minds and hearts, the throuple established a living arrangement under one roof. "My children have adapted to this dynamic very quickly," Jamie commented. In fact, it might've been easier for them than for Lacee! "They adapted faster than I did," she claimed.
So after being exposed to this new lifestyle and seeing their parents' content, were the Wesley children interested in pursuing polyamorous relationships of their own? "I probably wouldn't because I prefer monogamy," Janae admitted. Israel echoed, "For me, I would rather just have like one person to myself, basically."
Another Man in the Picture
With their sons and daughter's approval, the throuple continued working on their poly relationship. They navigated jealousy, quality time, and more. And as time passed, some couldn't help but wonder: would the throuple ever open up further and perhaps welcome another man into the picture?
"I get this question a lot," Kevin said. "All of that was on the table, and they both said, 'We do not want anyone else but you.'" Jamie added, "I'm not looking for another male figure at all. He's everything to me." Lacee felt the same way; "When you're fulfilled, you don't look for anything else," she said.
People Accused Him of Brain-Wash
Jamie, Kevin, and Lacee were as happy as could be. It seemed that having a second partner for Jamie and a sister wife for Jamie was just what their marriage was missing all those years before when the pair initially called it quits. But others viewed their new dynamic in a different light.
Some people accused the trio's man of brainwashing the two women. "The worst are those that say I'm manipulating my queens into being with me which is so far from the truth," Kevin said. "Being in the presence of both Jamie and Lacee at the same time can be difficult at times."
And that wasn't the only negativity thrown their way. As the trio became open about their dynamic, it became obvious that people had a lot of opinions. "We experience judgment in all facets of our life simply because we live our lives unapologetically," Kevin said.
"The most ridiculous question is, 'Y'all must lack self-love,'" he added. While Kevin saw one thing, the only world saw another. "I feel like you should see beauty. But if you go to the comments [on social media], you will find people who don't see beauty," he said. Some people specifically felt bad for Jamie.
People Pitied Jamie
"This is someone commenting on here to say, 'He really loves her more than the first wife,'" Kevin said while scrolling through social media comments. Sadly, that sentiment was echoed by other online users. "Someone actually sent the comment yesterday to Jamie saying, 'Listen, Jamie, you are beautiful, but he does not love you. Why don't you just leave?'" Kevin confessed.
"I get judgment mostly on social media because I'm looked at as the person who couldn't let go even though we were separated for many, many years," Jamie said. "Sometimes, people forget that you're a human. And they just feel like they can say whatever they want." And the negativity wasn't limited to their computer screen.
Parents Covered Their Children's Eyes
The haters were not limited to social media. "We get [judged] when we walk down the street. And we can see parents cover their children's eyes," Kevin admitted. "We've had parents shield their kids' eyes or whisper about us, but you just have to understand that people are viewing our relationship through a different lens."
The throuple reminded themselves that the nay-sayers grew up in a society that valued monogamy and didn't have the tools to understand their love. But that didn't mean it wasn't hurtful. "People have so much focus around the three of us that they forget that we're a family. There are children that are part of this family," Lacee said.
He Wants to "Enlighten the World"
The reactions of loved ones and strangers persuaded Kevin to do something that would destigmatize their romance. "Because polygamy is illegal in the United States, people think it is wrong. But they're viewing it through that specific lens," Kevin said.
"In reality, we are just three people who love each other and have chosen to forge our lives together," he added. "When I became poly, it was like, you know what? I want to use my relationship and my family to continue to enlighten the world." So the trio recorded their relationship for the online world to see.
Would They Add a Fourth Member?
"What we want to do is like kind of show the world what a family really can do in this world," Kevin explained of the throuple's social media presence on Instagram, YouTube, and other platforms. "Often, people who are happy cannot wait to tell somebody about it. That's actually why I went public," he admitted in a video.
So with polyamory as the missing ingredient to his and Jamie's unhappy marriage, did Kevin want to have a fourth sister wife? "Would I add another person to this dynamic? Absolutely not. I am 100% satisfied. This is everything," he said. "Ditto," Lacee agreed.